ok so brandon finally gave me my password back he just made me promise to not delete the last entry haha

yea so i made a new layout last night after the concert

holy crap i rilly rilly want this::

anyone out there who loves me please buy it for me cus im totally broke..buyin a new guitar..its kickass...ibanez and top of the line =P  but brandon dont buy it!! i feel so bad..u already spent $100// ty so much! heres where u can check it out http://www.merchdirect.net/x/c/product.php?productid=156&cat=270&page=1

so yesterday was the funeral in the morning..10 am / t. memorial..it was sad..she looked so different in the casket..it wasnt her anymore..she was wearing clothes she would never wear and makeup that looked like shit..and just seeing her there..so pale..was harsh..and thinking about how she died..hung to a fan..we will miss you a lot and who u used to be..R.I.P <3

yea well she isnt doing too well either..shes just in bed 24/7..she doesnt get out..at all..shes hooked up to a catheder or however u spell it so she doesnt even get out to go to the bathroom and shit and she just lies there in pain..its hard to look at her because shes not there anymore..its not her..its just her body..her spirit left a long time ago

another hella suckass thing is i just found out that my father is quite sick and death age is around 54...hes like 53..i hate doctors..even if every1 in my family is on..after seeing it through my eyes i would never be a doctor

pain is the only way we know we're alive

i re-pierced my belly button! haha it didnt hurt this time as much tho :D and brandon did the lip piercing >.< but he said "ddead on arrival: if yes to the lip piercing then i promise ill take you to taking back sunday w/ fall out boy, matchbook romance, the sleeping in san diego " so watever..

so last night saw thrice @ ventura and then made this layout..yea theyre awesome..one of my favorite bands definetely..holy shit brandon were my parents pissed tho =P haha

soccer isnt gettin any better..still havnt touched a ball..just runnin miles and since were only allowed a certain amount of practices a week my coach decided to have un"offical" practices where we had to meet up but with no coaches and the coaches kid told us wat to do..basically run miles and do gayass drills..

if u need me call my cell --> 9o9.234.9617

brandon call..im freaked out..

for brandon::

I said I liked you: i would say i loved you
I lived next door to you: id come over to ur house everyday
I started smoking: id smoke with you
I stole something: id help u hide it
I was hospitalized: id stay by ur side
I ran away from home: i'd run with you
I got into a fight & you weren`t there: i would get pissed @ u for not lettin me see u kick that guy's ass

What do you think about my:

Personality: i love u for it
Eyes: theyre amazing
Face: its hot
Hair: its soft? its very hot and cool
Clothes: all my favorite bands..
Mannerisms: hilarious dumbass i love
Family: theyre aite

Would you:

Be my friend? i am ur friend
Lie to make me feel better? im not sure i could
Spread rumors about me? im not sure i could
Keep a secret if i told you one? of course
Let me borrow some cash? of course
Hold my hand? always
Take a bullet for me? yea
Keep in touch? always
Try & solve my problems? i'd try
Love me? always and forever
Date me? we are already...<3

FierAnjiel: id rather live than hurt the ones that care for me by leaving them forever
FierAnjiel: in death
FierAnjiel: and
FierAnjiel: theres a lot about living that i love
FierAnjiel: talking to u for instance
ender save us X: so u think suicide is selfish?
FierAnjiel: yes
FierAnjiel: its getting rid of ur own pain
FierAnjiel: but
FierAnjiel: also giving it to others
FierAnjiel: if anyone i know comitted suicide it would hurt me